Title: Funny Dane Stories

greatdanefun > Library > Dane Ownership

Go to subcategory： General—— General DiscussionRescue Board—— RescueFAQ About This Board—— FAQRoom Rules—— Room RulesCalendar Photos—— New Sub-category ExampleLibrary—— Health Issues—— Feeding Your Dane—— Training—— Great Dane Puppy—— Crate Training—— Dane Ownership—— CPR for your Dane—— Growth ChartThe Healing Board—— The Healing BoardDog Foods—— Dog Foods and NutritionWho's Who—— Who's WhoRainbow Bridge—— Rainbow BridgeBloatShow and Brag's Board—— Show and Brag's BoardPoems—— PoemsDanes In Show Business—— Danes IN Show BusinessRecipes—— RecipesRecycle BinLarge Dogs Supply Sites—— LinksHeader Pictures—— Header picturesFun Dane Videos—— New Sub-category Exampleopen

Author

Content

gdfadmin

Rank： Score：0 Posts：0 From：USA Register：01/25/2009 8:03 PM

Date Posted：01/27/2009 11:06 PMCopy HTML Funny Dane Stories A Really Big Baby Mcboo loves going for car rides and he had an appointment with the vet, for a rewrap.  I needed to make a pit stop to pick up our dogs RMB & organ meat.  So Mcboo is laying down in front of our last seat in the van, when I back up to the dock and open the back door on the van.  Well Mcboo sits straight up and looks at me like, I didn't know the back opened.  Then all of sudden the dock door goes up and Mcboo zooms to the front seat and under the stearing wheel and start shaking all over.  My friend is just laughing at this huge dog cowarding under the stearing wheel.  Needless to say I could not get Mcboo to budge from the front seat area.  No way was HE going to go back there again.  All the way to the vet he rode all scrunched up between the 2 seats.   Big dog = big baby, because if he had been a little mousey dog, I'd had to fight him back to keep him from "trying" to eat the guys leg off!!!  He did make it back to the back on the trip home. Tree  By treetop_n_tx , 6/26/2001. Attack of the Munchkin! Some years ago, Molly, my first Dane, and I were on our way up the sidewalk to the park. We were passing a house, with an open front door, when a chihuahua flew out and latched onto Molly's ankle. Molly and I both stood there, considering the situation. She seemed to be wondering whether this was a particularly large insect, while the chihuahua was worrying away at her ankle, growling all the time. Since it couldn't even close its jaws, she didn't seem to be in any danger. And I really didn't care to try to peel it off her leg. Molly kept looking at me, as if she were saying, "What do I do now, Mum?" As we stood there, a woman came screaming at us, out of the house, demanding that I take my "vicious brute off her dog"! So we decided to be on our way, which forced the "insect" to finally let go.   By MagsMum , 4/18/2001. CAR CHASING Today my danes got a wild hair and decided to roam. They had gone about a mile down the country road into a neighboring pasture. I was not feeling up to walking after them. Normally they don't leave our place. I decided to get in the car and go after them. When I got to them they were covered in mud because it had just rained. I didn't want all that mud in my car so I called to them and drove very slow while they followed. We were doing great until a pickup truck approached us. I pulled over to the very edge of the road and Tiny and Lucy came right up to my window. The man in the truck stopped and rolled down his window and said " Don't worry maam. This dogs won't hurtcha. I drive by their place all the time and see them in the yard. Funny though they have never offered to chase me like they're doin you. Must be the color of your car!" I guess my neighbors know my dogs better than they do me!!  By tlashley , 2/25/2000. Customs crossing We live very close to the US border and the first time I took Tara with me  in the pickup, we were pulled over at the Customs depot to be searched. I thought to myself "Oh, blast!", because all I had was a gallon of milk anyway, and I wanted to get home. A very stiff and straight inspector approached the truck, started to lean in the window, and jumped back 3 feet when he saw who was with me. Tara's rump was up tight against the passenger side door, on the bench seat, and her legs were on top of my knees. (Which made driving a standard shift truck a trifle awkward when you wanted to change gears.) "Please get out and put your dog on a leash", he commanded. "I don't have a leash with me," I replied, "but she's very gentle and won't harm you." He stared at me for a few moments and I started wondering if I was on my way to prison. Finally, he wheeled around, without a word, went over to another guard, and I could overhear him saying "I'm not searching any truck with a dog that stretches from one door to the other!" And we were waved on!  By MagsMum , 3/30/2001. Daddy's Comming! OK this is one of those...Where is the video camera when you need it, moments! Junior has started to get more controlled with his running and jumping and can actually go up and down the stairs no problem now. So today he is all full of vim and vigor and running around like mad knocking things over and giving even Nina a run for her money! He finally decided to settle down only thought it would be nice to do it ON the couch, well of course this is a no no in our home, so I come out of our room and see him on the couch and tell him off, he looks at me cocks his head and doesn't move an inch, kind of like ya whatever mom...So then I say, Better get off Junior Daddy's comming!....He jumped up and off the couch so fast I thought he was gonna hurt himself!! LOL Sorry, it's one of those, ya had to be here moments! Needless to say I laughed my butt off!! Now hubby is complaining that even the dogs will think he's the bad guy hahaha  By MSN Nicknamemiccisdanes, 5/19/2000. Dane catapults hubbie I told this about 5 months ago before alot of you were here, but it's still cracks me up so I'll repeat it. My husband and I had to drain our water bed to repair a leak. He went to work and my job was to turn the water off when the bed was full enough....well was on the phone and forgot. This thing looked like a muffin with 10 times the requirred yeast. Drained it down but wasn't sure if there was still too much water. We descided to try it for the night. Husband gets in bed is 1/2 asleep when Maya, our harlequin descides to jump up on the bed. The bed was so overfilled, it was like bouncing a quarter off of a military bed, she hit and he flew out of the bed. Thought I'd never stop laughing.  By highsierra , 2/3/2000. Doggie Toenails ARE NOT YUMMY! LOL Well... Ebony's toenails were looking long so I decided time to clip all the dogs nails. Gypsy tolerated this on her front paws but wanted to be OBSTINATE about the back ones, meanwhile Ebony is doing everything she can to be next, so I decided ok she is next... we'll come back to Gypsy's hind paws. So I start on Ebony and hubby is watching off & on and then I clip one of Ebony's and I guess OBVIOUSLY I had my mouth open (for concentration , I guess! LOL they have BLACK claws so I always am a little nervous as to where exactly I think the quickline is!" and I clip and the toenail flies right in my mouth!!!!! I do this spit n hack, gag thing that I am sure was funny to see and have this really freaked out expression on my face I guess, while I am spitting in the ashtray!. Hubby YELLS at me " what did you do quick her?" me " UMM.....NO!!!!!! I had her toenail in my mouth!!! " and he is like how in the HELL did you do that!" me "Well gee I don't know how I did that not like I was chewing them off!" LOL well he found this to be gross but hilarious! LOL Oh well .. all dogs are clipped now but let me tell you doggy toenails are not a delicasy! LOL still feel like how you feel when u think or you did swallow a bug! LIKE yuck... hack, hack just in case ...cause the thought of it is gross! LOL Jackie By shewolve, 1/25/2003. garbos' makeup Every morning when we get up we let our dane Garbo ('after Gretta, for those of you who are over 40 and remember the actress, well Garbo is her incarnet) to do her business ,and feed her . Afterwords my wife goes into the bathroom to do her makeup for work. Every morning Garbo follows her in ,puts her paws on the vanity so she is the same height as my wife and waits for her to put makeup on her, if she waits too long she cries. Once my wife dabs her with the makeup she gets down and walks away.She truly believes she is a star!!! By garbo5822, 3/17/2008. Granny comes to visit My mother is a toy dog lover, owning a toy poodle and a maltese. Now I likesmall dogs, don't get me wrong, but these dogs are spoiled rotten annoying little brats. I walk in the front door and they bark continually, and I am like Mom can you please make your dogs shut up. She always comes back with the line " This is their house, not yours". So both of the little rats are allowed to chase me and try to bite my ankles when I get up and walk around the house.   The last time my mother came to visit she came in and was sitting on the couch, Elliott's couch. You could see that look in his eye like " Hey now Granny that is MY couch NOT yours!" So he decided to crawl up behind her. She sat there looking at his head which was now under her arm pit. He seen his plan to make her move was not working, so he rolled over and stretched out on his side pushing my mother off in the floor. By this time I am laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes. She stood up and with her hands on her hips muttered something about a big ox in the house. I looked her straight in the eye and said, "This is his house not yours and that is his couch, so if I were you I would move" By dane_momma , 11/7/2001. Have a nice day! A while ago, a landlord was having a real problem with a troublesome tenant. The noise went on all night long, the apartment was being vandalized, and the whole apartment house was upset, with other tenants threatening to move out. The landlord had served an eviction notice, made endless phone calls, and knocked on the door, to no avail. Finally he knocked on the door and it was opened by the tenant, who simply slammed it in the landlord's face. The landlord went downstairs, opened the car door, and brought George, his Dane, out. They went back upstairs and knocked on the door again. When the door was opened, the tenant stood there with his mouth open, while the landlord said "Smile, George!" The tenant was gone in 2 hours! By MagsMum , 4/3/2001. How each day starts with Gretta Sometime between 6:20 and 7:10am.   Gretta - "a woo woo woo, a woo woo woo". "Get up daddy, get up, get up, get up, gotta go potty, potty potty". Me - "I'm getting dressed Gretta". Gretta - "a woo woo woo, come on daddy, gotta go potty, potty potty". Me - Open door to her crate. Gretta - "hurry, hurry, gotta go gotta go gotta go. potty,potty, potty". Me - Open bedroom door. Gretta - comes out, stops, yawns, stretches, moves very slow. Me - "I thought you had to go potty"? Gretta - "Oh yea, potty potty potty, gotta go, hurry hurry hurry, kitty"! Me - "Leave the cat alone and lets go outside potty". Gretta - "Oh yea, gotta go potty, potty, potty. Me - Open outside door. Gretta - Stops at top of stairs, yawns, stretches, moving slow. Me - "I thought you had to go"? Gretta - "oh yea, gotta go, sniff, sniff, sniff, no not here, not here, not here, oh whats that smell?, bunny bunny bunny, I like bunny. Ok pee here"! pee, pee, pee. Me "Hay you gotta poop"? Gretta - "No daddy, see kitty in window, go see kitty, kitty, kitty". Me - "Ok but your going back in your crate when we go inside and you won't be able to go until mommy gets up cause I got to go to work". Gretta - " no poop, no poop, no poop, don't gotta go, see kitty, kitty"! Me - Open door Gretta "kitty kitty kitty, chase kitty, kitty runs and hides, oh ok eat kitty's food". Me - "Get out of the cats food and come on your going back in your crate". Gretta - "Ok daddy but don't forget my cookie.  Cookie cookie cookie, I like cookie". Me - Get cookie from pantry, put Gretta back into crate, go into bathroom apply shaving cream. Gretta - "a woo woo woo, a woo woo woo, gotta go poop daddy, gotta go gotta go gotta go. Me - "Gretta why didn't you go when we were out and I asked you to"? Gretta - "I dunno, gotta go gotta go gotta go, hurry hurry hurry". Me - Open crate and bedroom door. Gretta - "Kitty, get kitty kitty kitty. Me - "Leave the cat alone and come on out, I thought you had to poop"? Gretta - "Oh yea, gotta poop, gotta poop, gotta poop. Oh food"! Me - "get out of the food dish and come on I am going to be late for work". Gretta - "ok daddy, lets go, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go". Me - Open outside door. Gretta - stops at top of stairs, yawns, stretches, moving like a turtle. Me - "Come on hurry, I got to go to work". Gretta - "ok daddy, oh wait whats that smell, birds, tweet tweet tweet, I like birds". Me - "You better go now or I'm taking you back inside and you wait until mommy gets up". Gretta - "ok, sniff sniff sniff, no not here, not here, not here, oh whats that smell, pee, daddy someone did pee pee in our yard. Oh yea I did that earlier". Me - "Come on Gretta, your making me late". Gretta - "Ok daddy, sniff, sniff, sniff, no not here, not here, not here, oh oh daddy, look you got poop on your shoe". Me - "Poop"!. Gretta -"ok go poop now". Me - I am late for work again!  By:  Mickey02991, 2/4/2002. Innocent Bystander My small black Lab, Lady (the most misnamed dog that ever existed) has an on-going feud with the big black tomcat across the road. Mostly, this is a staring match, as the cat sits in the window, and Lady sits outside giving him the evil eye. One day, a tremendous racket started across the road, and I went flying out the door to see what had happened. At the same time, my husband came running from the opposite direction, and we converged on Lady with the tomcat in her mouth, shaking the daylights out of him! We were both yelling and screaming at her to drop the cat, and finally, Dave did make her drop the poor cat. The cat hit the ground, bounced onto its feet with a glare, and grabbed the first thing it saw. Which happened to be my poor Tara, who had followed me out the door, wondering what all the racket was. We finally got the cat pried off her face, while the perpetrator stood there without a scratch and a smile on her face! And I ended up washing the cuts and scratches on Poor Tara's face, and assuring her that a 6 lb. cat "really didn't mean to hurt" a 160 lb. dog! By MagsMum , 3/27/2001.